close to the edge ,
you know. i feel like im usually kind of weak. i feel like i cant do anything. and well for once, i had a very disturbing thought. but not disturbing in a bad way, more so in a way of growth? did that make sense? i hope so. if not, well i guess you just need to know me. so lately, i had been thinking about something. see, there was kind of an incident. i took four of my pills. yes four. i was kind of frustrated, and upset, and i had hit a point. i just wanted to see what happened. i didnt know what was going to happen, but when i started to feel sick, it was kind of scary. not gonna lie. i felt like i was going to rip apart. and for a split second, i was scared out of my mind. but i soon got over it, and realized that i felt calm. like i was at peace. so now knowing that ive gotten so close to the end, so close to an overdose, i know that next time, if there needs to be a next time, well, i know i’ll be able to go through with it the rest of the way. you may think im crazy or stupid, or just getting attention. but you dont know me. and if you think you do know me, well, turns out, youre probably wrong. i hate to say that. but it’s true.
